When Animals Attack!!

068Whilst staying on Kho Phi Phi I decided to rent a kayak and head over to the nearby beach aptly named Monkey Beach. It was truly beautiful, crystal clear waters, soft powder white sand and monkeys roaming freely around the shore…However surrounding the monkeys were a gaggle of tourists who were not only observing, but feeding the monkeys and not feeding them bananas but Pringles, Coke and even Chang Beer. I’m not going to lie, watching a monkey drink a pint of beer and then immediately stroll up to another monkey and hit it in the face is on some level highly amusing, however probably unethical. Some of these monkeys were drunk and all of them were definitely enraged, I approached one with a banana but it looked at me as though it wanted to rip my limbs from me, so I just threw a banana at it and ran.




The people here are insane and had abandoned all logic, these are wild animals and are only interested in the food we are giving them THEY WILL ATTACK…this is clearly signposted everywhere and yet I see a French lady giving a packet of crisps to her three year old daughter and sending her into the pack of wild monkeys, not even looking slightly concerned just merely giggling when the child teases the monkeys with them. Luckily the child was spared when one monkey snatched the packet from her and ran away.

I decided to go and sit away from all of the crowds and found a nice spot by a tree, I sat watching an English family for a while (not in a pervy way, just people watching) when I noticed the small boy come running from the sea crying, he had been stung by a jellyfish and was inconsolable. The fact that the boy was crying is not what bothered me -I would cry too, but I found his mother’s reaction bizarre…she simply lifted up his arm assessed the damage then poured her can of beer on it “all better now” and sent him back into the sea!!! WTF is that about, does beer heal jelly fish stings? If it does I’ve never heard of it, what does this woman do when her son cuts his knees playing football, throw brandy on him? And she sent him back to the sea to be stung again, which he was!  I know it’s not that big of a deal it’s just that I find people strange.

Screams started coming from the gaggle of tourists and the crowd quickly dispersed to revel a woman running down the beach being chased by about 10 monkeys dripping with blood, as her 6ft tall body builder boyfriend ran in the opposite direction leaving her to fend for herself – typical!

She was running my way; I thought screw this and ran into the sea I’ll take my chances with the jellyfish. (I made a wrong and very painful decision) As her hulking boyfriend was completely useless at fending of monkeys  that he was about to let have his girlfriend for dinner, a local man stepped in throwing a bucket of water on them and hissing loudly until they got the message and fucked off.

I had had quite enough of this; the animals were all attacking nowhere was safe so I jumped back in my kayak and headed straight to my local beach bar shack.



9 thoughts on “When Animals Attack!!

  1. You have a fantastic blog.. English people are completely mental, especially as tourists! I’d like to say I’m not like most! I’m currently in India as you probably have seen from the posts and some locals were teasing the monkeys in the national park I visited the other day.. How the monkeys did not react really shocked me as these people were pushing cameras in their faces, throwing them crisps and other ‘treats’ … I hope you’re enjoying your holiday!

    • Thank you…yes the English are insane, people probably stare at me sometimes and think crazy Britt. If you are going to tease a wild animal with food you have to expect it to bite you to be honest some people are just slightly retarded! I noticed that you were in India, loving reading about it as I am currently planning a trip to India in two months. This holiday happened last year, I’ve only just got around to writing about it now and also thinking about happier times gets me through the days till I can go traveling again…There is not much to do in Luton other than wish you weren’t here! Thank you for reading 🙂

      • You’re from Luton?! So am I! I think monkeys are so cute but I’m always really careful around them as you hear so many stories about them turning on people. Do you keep a diary? I could never do an overnight bus like you did!

        India is fantastic in so many way.. So much culture, the architecture is beautiful but many of the people here are unbelievably rude, unfriendly and it is quite shocking. I wouldn’t consider coming back usually but there is still far too much left to see so I’m planning to come back at Christmas! 🙂

      • Omg…what a small world, when i’m traveling I keep a small diary just notes on what happened on important days so that I don’t forget. When I go to India think I will make my blog the diary.

        The overnight buses are bad but they are also an experience and make you realize how much you can deal with. Are the people that rude and is it difficult as a female to go about your business without attracting to much attention or is this a problem? What is your general view of India? Thanks 🙂

      • That’s just crazy! Where abouts in Luton? I usually keep a written diary but this trip I’m using the blog as I just bought myself an iPhone so all my photos and notes are in one place!

        I’m with my mum and my dad here, with my dad we’ve stil experienced problems but just my mum and I it had been quite bad. People will actively push you out of the way, obviously make remarks about you or try ad take pictures of you right in your face.. Some people have been lovely but they have been a minority. You definitely need to wear sleeved tops and long trousers.. The more covered you are the ‘less’ they stare .. I made the big mistake of wearing a tank top and shorts and felt so threatened all day.

        The food is some of the best I’ve ever tasted.. Really healthy as well. You definitely have to come! Would you come alone? I don’t think I’d come alone as a girl but then I’ve lived a very sheltered life and don’t really live life on the edge !

      • I live in Stopsley. I’m going with a female friend, so have been very concerned about the possible hassle. Have you ever been to a Middle Eastern country such as Egypt or Tunisia is it worse than that? Thank you for the advise and I will be sure to cover up! 🙂

      • My Grandad used to live there, haha! I think as long as there’s two of you it will be fine. My mum has said that there is less issues with bag snatching etc but it’s mostly them trying to rip you off or just actually staring etc.

        Unfortunately not I’m afraid so I can’t say! Feel free to ask anything else x

  2. Lolest! People are hilarious. Someone should ask these big muscled guys what’s their use. but as as someone who grew up exposed to wild animals, I have a deeper respect for them; and the most important thing to remember is that wild animals are wild, I don’t play around with them. I got freaked out by baby lions; I couldn’t wait to get the heck out of there when I went to a Lion Park.

    Keep writing, you make me laugh! 😉

    • I think that people think because something is cute and cuddly that it is not thinking about ripping your face off…but it probably is! I’m glad that I make you laugh, that’s rely great to know 🙂

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